28 01 2008

I don’t deal with being frustrated very well and lets just say the last little while I’ve been quite frustrated……………with TOO many things.  I know that when it all comes down to it, it’s just a matter of how I deal with these things/situations that are frustrating me.  I know that it’s a matter of perception in most of the cases but does that make the thing/situation less frustrating at that time?  NO!!!!!!!!  And part of the problem is that I get frustrated about one thing that leads to another, that leads to another, that leads to another, etc………WHY?  Why can I not just deal with things/situations one thing/situation at a time??  Why do I feel that I need to take the weight of the world on my little ol’ shoulders?  Ugh!  The ironic part is…………now I’m frustrated because I’m frustrated. 



The worlds are realigning again!

25 01 2008

So it’s about12 noon here on Friday, hubby’s home with The Peanut and I just heard that her fever has finally broke!  WOOT WOOT!  She apparently is being VERY mischievous and into everything…………….seems as though she is back to her good ol’ self!  Well for the most part anyways.  She’s still not eating all that great but is drinking a lot so at least she won’t get dehydrated.  The pediatrician has told us in the past that when they are sick, it’s not the calories from food that count, it’s keeping them hydrated and thankfully, she’s a drinker.

So that being said, my mind is a little more at ease now and maybe some of my own thoughts and feelings will come back and I’ll have something other then my daughter and her illness to write about!!  It’s amazing how when you have a child/children, how they can consume you.  I know that that’s what being a parent is all about……putting your children first and foremost and I wouldn’t have it any other way (nor would my “mom guilt” allow it) but there definitely has to be some balance.  I’d never want to get to the point that I resented/regretted becoming a mother (not that I EVER would either cause being a mum is more then I could have ever asked for).  I know some mothers who completely loose them selves in being a parent.  They forget what it is to be “them”.  I can honestly say that I don’t feel as though I’ve change that much since having my daughter.  Yes, my priorities have changed and yes my day to day life has changed but I don’t believe that the person I am has changed and for that I am grateful.  I can only hope that people who know me still see me as the fun loving, giving, caring, attentive, accommodating, crazy, basket case that I’ve always been.  LMAO!!! I hope that they still see me as all those things PLUS a good loving mother and roll model to my child! 

HAHAHAHA, and now just proof reading this before I post it, I realize that it still all rolls back to my child!  HAHAHAHAH, now that’s funny!  I guess it’s true when they say you live for your kids eh???

And the diagnosis is………

23 01 2008

an severe ear and throat infection…………AGAIN!!!  The fever went up to 103.5 f last night and stayed there for several hours.  I continued to make her drink, stay out from under the covers, administer Tylonal and continued to be PANICKED throughout the night.  This morning the fever was back down to 102 f.  Still not good but at least it was progress.  We decide that hubby would stay home with her as I have already had several days off this month because of her being ill and having to transition her to the new day care.  This was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.  Not that I think her dad is incapable, it’s just not her “mom”……ya know??  I call the doctors office, get the run around from the new receptionist which whom I have now decided I dislike immensely, finally speak to the other receptionist who knows the peanut and get told to bring her RIGHT AWAY!! 

So the doctor said the infection is quiet severe and she requires a new round of stronger antibiotic (she just finished a 10 day round on Friday the 18th) and advised that the fever will more then likely stay around for a day or two so not to be too worried if it does not go away right away.  Keep giving her Tylenol (fever reducer and pain reliever) until the fever breaks.  Come back if anything changes.  Whew!!!!  Oh that’s all???  ARG!!  So here I sit at work while my baby girl is at home crying out for her “Mama”.  I know this as my husband has called a few times to let her talk to me so she’ll calm down.  How’s my “Mom guilt” doing you ask?????  Ya, not too good today.  I feel like the worlds worst mother for leaving her.  poor thing.  I don’t deserve that baby girl!  She is just so precious and funny and FULL of life.  I love her more then words can express and at these times in their little lives is when it all comes out in you.  It’s a test of wills that’s for sure.


Poor sick baby

22 01 2008

The Peanut has a fever.  A fever of 102 F which is pretty high.  She’s had it since 3pm today and the day care gave her a fever reducer at that time but it has not brought it down.  I called a medical help phone line called Telehealth Ontario which is ran by nurses and doctor’s and after talking with the nurse I’m a bit freaked out.  We went over ALL of Hannah’s symptoms as at the end of the 15 minute conversation she suggested that we have her checked within the next 3-4 hours by a doctor.  It’s 8:30 pm (or was at the time), -10 degrees celsius (freezing) and very windy and they want me to wake my child up out of bed, bundle her up and take her out in the cold to have her checked for what is more then likely and returned ear infection as she had an ear/throat infection 2 weeks ago and just finished her antibiotic’s on friday for it.  ARE THEY CRAZY???  

Now having said that,  I am second guessing my initial instinct to just wait and monitor her through the night to see “if” she gets worse and hope that the fever breaks over night.  She’s not convulsing or anything like that, she is just really HOT!  Am I wrong for keeping her home, snuggled comfortably in her bed getting the rest that she needs or should I be rushing her out in the cold, to sit in an over crowded ER for hours on end (min.3-4 hours) where she’ll be uncomfortable and not getting the rest she needs? ARG!!!!  Parenthood…………….now where’s that damn handbook again? 

So here I am

22 01 2008

Alright, I did it.  I started yet another blog here on wordpress.  I still have my old one at but no one is around there any more so here I am.  In all my glory.  Not exactly sure what I hope to get out of blogging again but whatever it is, it can’t be bad right?  I use to blog a lot before my daughter was born and then when she was born I slowed down a bit.  Not much but a bit as having a baby as we all know takes up a lot of time.  then I just kinda dwindled off and stopped.  Every now and again I’d post an update but not nearly as I use to. 

 So now, here I am and hopefully I will get what I use to get out of blogging.  The sense of freedome I suppose.  The freedom to say what ever it is that I want to say and knowing that it really isn’t going to effect anyone in any way.  Silly of me to think?  Nah……  I like knowing that I will meet people on here and the greatest part of just meeting you all is that you only know the me NOW!  Not the me from yesterday or last week or even last year for that matter.  But don’t worry, it won’t take long for you all to realize that I am a crazy nut bar whose mind constantly runs.  I’m sure my thought’s will amuse you, or at least I hope they do!

So here’s to new beginings………………