Happy Birthday Beaver Canoe!!

8 05 2008
It’s that time of year again.  Our dear friend Darryl would have been 31 today so HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARRYL! WE LOVE AND MISS YOU SO MUCH!! It’s still hard to think about him not being here with us. As every year, we will be celebrating his b-day with dinner at the Keg, then the walk to his memorial then ICE CREAM. It’ll be 5 years this year since his passing. It’s amazing how life passes us by so quickly. When this time of year rolls around it gets me thinking about the bonds of friendship and how important they are. I know it’s a little sad that it takes reminding to think about it but I know that Darryl would be happy that it is him who reminds me. Dave and Darryl’s friendship was one that was true and honest and even though Darryl is not here with him in body, his soul still lingers around us.

He lives in Dave and in Shannon through their memories. He is still able to put a huge smile on their faces and that is how you know the kind of person Darryl was. He always left/leaves a lasting impression and as the years pass we NEVER forget how much Darryl is loved.

Thank you for being a part of my life. Thank you for approving of me. your approval is part of what got Dave and I together. Thank you for being the friend that you are to Dave. Thank you for giving Shannon the time she had with you and for making her happy. And thank you for watching over my daughter. I know that you are around my family and I know it’s because of your love for Dave. You are so loved and missed and we will continue to honnor your life every year for the rest of ours.



Sh*tty, sh*tty, sh*tty mood I tell ya!

1 05 2008

Will someone please just freaking shoot me?  I’m stressed people……….STRESSED!!  I have so much going on in my mind right now that I don’t even know where to being so I’ll apologize now for this post being all over the place.  The Peanut’s ear surgery has been scheduled for Thursday June 5th so I’ll be off work that day, then the Friday after, then I’ll be off on Monday June 9th because that’s when her appointment with the Pediatric Orthopedic Surgeon for her elbows has been scheduled for.  So that’s 3 days off my almost non existent vacation time already and I haven’t even been able to take and actual vacation yet!  On top of stressing about that, when Hubby went to Montreal for UFC 2 weeks ago he got a $42 parking ticket.  Then last night I got a $100 parking ticket for being the lazy ass that I am and parking in front of our local convenience store down the street instead of using the parking lot like I should.  Oh and did I mention that I owed the Government taxes this year instead of getting a refund?  Did I mention that after being on Maternity Leave for 7 months last year making next to nothing as an income I ended up owing the government $552!!!!!  Did I also mention that it was The Boy’s annual veterinarians visit last weekend and that cost me $465.99?  So in a matter of 2 weeks I have shelled out $1159 of money that I don’t have!!! 

I’m still battling with my freaking weight and it seems to be winning at the moment and let me tell you…………..NOT HAPPY!  I’ve been pretty good with what I’ve been eating, I’ve started walking on my lunches (and when I say walking I mean hustling my ASS off), I’ve been drinking insane amounts of water and still………..nottin!  For the love of the lord will something give gawd damn it?!?!?!!?!?!?  I can’t even begin to tell you how frustrated I am and how I want to eat my self into a freaking coma cause I am so disappointed with these results.  I don’t have the freaking time nor the energy to be the OOBER Nazi worker outer and lets be honest……….I’m gawd damn lazy.  Can someone/something not give me a freaking break already?!?!!?  I am honestly trying and the results are less then noticeable.  I guess I should count my lucky stars that I haven’t been packing weight back on though right?  *&@^%#I@(#)$*&&$^@#*(@)(@)$)!!!!!!!!

And last but not least on my rant today is something that has taken me a while to write about.  Wasn’t sure if I was even going to but decided it would be therapeutic for me! My mother and her husband to my brothers for a visit a couple weeks ago to see him, his wife and their 2 girls.  My sister also went out with her husband and their 2 boys.  My dad and his wife where also invited and if any of you remember the long ass story from years ago, my dad had an affair with this woman 17 years ago.  We are all over it except my mother for what ever reason. So any way, Mom was making smart ass remarks the whole time about dad and his wife as she always does and apparently Mom cornered Dad’s wife (the woman he had the affair with) out side and told her that we were HER kids and my brother was HER son and to back the F*&K off.  Mom then came in the house, sat down and started eating her burger like nothing happened.  Dad’s wife came in a couple mins later all flustered and called mom on what she said to her outside in front of everyone.  Told her it’s been 17 years since all this happened and she has always taking what mom has said and done nothing about it well, this time she was not taking it!  Told Mom to tell everyone what she said out side, mom denied it (apparently you could tell Dad’s wife was telling the truth by how flustered she was) and started yelling back at her.  Mom got up, walked around the grandkids (“K” is 13 and “C” is 11) went over and pushed Dad’s wife so hard that she fell on her ass and slid 3 feet across the floor.  She then walked back over and started eating again.  The kids were RIGHT there, 2 ft from Dad’s wife when Mom pushed her!  My sister apparently even yelled to Mom when she was walking towards Dad’s wife that the kids were right there and Mom didn’t care! 

So anyhow I heard about it (obviously) and didn’t say ANYTHING to mom at all about it.  I spoke to her briefly on messenger on the Sunday night, told her that I picked up her candles at IKEA for her and that was that.  Mom called me at work on Monday, acts like nothing is wrong and cancels babysitting Hannah for me on my b-day.  Says “if it’s okay I think I’ll pass”.  WTF?!?!?!?  It’s ridiculous.  If this happened 17 years ago I’d say that Dad’s wife had it coming but not now, after all these years.  Not after all the years that she has done nothing but prove her self to us.  She LOVES us and treats us with nothing but respect.  She treats our children as if they were her own grand children.  YES Dad and his wife made a mistake and one that was very costly for many people but after 17 years I think that they have proved that it was not just an affair.  They are still together and happy.  Something was obviously wrong in my mom and dad’s marriage for the affair to happen at all and I understand why my mother still has so much hurt and anger but hitting someone is out of line and NOT in front of the kids. 

It’s pretty sad that after all these years my Mother is keeping this going.  Just because we don’t HATE my dad’s wife does not mean that we are not supporting our mother and that’s how she feels.  My niece “K” is the same age I was when this all s*&t started and now she (and the others) are having to deal with what I dealt with and that’s not right.  Why is this dragging on to yet another generation?  I REFUSE to allow may daughter to have to deal with any amount (no matter how small or large) of the BULL that I had to endure when I was a child.  My daughter will NEVER have to pick and choose between her grandparents.  She will NEVER be made to feel like she is in the middle.  She will NOT know any part of why her Gramma and Papa are not still together until she is of an age when “WE”…..her father and I…..decide she is capable of understanding it.  I will NEVER allow my mother to make Hannah feel like she has to prove her self to grandmother……….EVER! 

I’ve been keeping my distance from my mother who claims she is not upset with me AT ALL but I know she is and quite frankly…….I’m not too happy with her right now.  I’ve had enough.  I can not keep doing this so I’m not.  I’ve decided to stop allowing her to drag me back into this.  It’s her problem and her issues and she needs to take care of them.  Too many years have I stood by and listened to her bad talk my dad and his wife.  Too many years I have allowed her to blame everything on my father.  ENOUGH!  So with that, I am now closing this chapter of my life and sadly, until my mother can move on…….I have to keep my distance from her.  I just can’t emotionally take it any more and I have to make sure my daughter never has to feel the pain and hurt that I do.